A New Start

Henry’s eyes drifted slowly across the horizon’s edge, his gaze catching on the few ships which rested on the far-off waves, their pilot lights muted underneath the moon’s haze.

“Tomorrow that’ll be you,” a voice said from behind him. Henry turned, a grin splayed across his face as he saw Sarah. The jacket he’d let her borrow earlier hung limply off of her shoulders, its sleeves stretching down to brush against her hips.

“Don’t jinx me yet.” He laughed. “They could set me up for the inland defense, or even keep me here, stuck in analytics.”

Sarah motioned to him to move over before letting herself slide to the ground, her legs folded underneath her with ease. She held out her hand, and the grin returned as he took it, their fingers wrapping together.

“You’ll get your chance on the sea,” she reassured him. “You’ll be the best damn sailor they’ve ever had.”

Henry shook his head, his eyes falling back on the water. He sighed as Sarah leaned her head against his shoulder, the sounds of the group behind them falling to the wayside. The lapping of the waves drew his attention, each one slowly carving its way up the beach to rest at their feet.

“I’ll be gone with the tide.” He laughed. “Defending our homeland against the enemy.”

She nodded slowly, her hand gently squeezing his. Suddenly, he found himself struck by the perfection of the moment, everything seemingly fitting together exactly as it should. A piece of him seemed to drift away to watch it all, to see how it would soon be gone, and to realize that he didn’t want it to end.

“What if I just didn’t show up tomorrow?” he murmured. Sarah turned to look at him, a look of concern etched silently into her gaze.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “As in don’t show up to base?”

Henry nodded, his face solemn in the night. His gaze fell back to the ships, their passage across the water noticeable only now.

“Well, they’d have you in a cell by the end of the day,” she told him. “Remember what happened to Jefferson? They found him, even after he drove up into the jungle.”

Henry nodded again, remembering the wreck being hauled down and through Honolulu. The front of the car had been neatly split in two down the middle, scraps of bark still embedded in the thin metal of the hood. Jefferson himself had been fine, though last anyone had heard, he’d been shipped out towards the European front.

“I don’t want to be another Jefferson,” he told her. “No, I was talking about just resting here until the sun rises. Letting the world catch up to us for a change.”

She moved closer to lean against him, silence buoying up from the meaning behind his words. “Is this about Eric?” she asked suddenly.

Henry froze, his eyes closing gently as he realized that she could see right through him. “I just... don’t want to leave him like that,” he admitted. “And my mom, she’s just worried I’m going to come back the same way he did. That in the end she’ll be taking care of both of us, all on her own.”

Sarah motioned for him to look at her, a sad smile on her face. “I’m going to be there for her. I promised you that,” she said softly. “And you’ll be fighting for our country in the safest place possible. Our ships are unsinkable.”

Henry shook his head, gratitude and worry swirling through him. “The safest place for me would be right here. With you,” he murmured. Her silence served as a form of assent, though he knew she would never admit it.

“I’ll be here when you get back,” she told him. Despite what she said, the other end of that promise, the other question, burned in his mind.

“And if I don’t get back?” he ventured. Sarah shook her head, leaning forwards to mark the sand. Her fingers swirled amongst the grains, carving a series of letters, one by one. Eventually, she sat back, letting the wet sand cling to her hand.

You will, she’d written. He smiled softly, the words burning themselves in his mind.

Lying back, he felt the sand compacting underneath him, the stars softly singing down from above them.

“What ship is Rich stationed on again?” he asked suddenly. Sarah paused to think for a moment, her fingers splayed outwards as she counted some unseen number. “He’s stationed as a deckhand on Arizona,” she explained.

Henry’s teeth flashed as he fell back into a grin, a silent victory playing itself out across his face. “Base Command put out a declaration to all the recruiting stations a few days ago,” he explained. “A few of their boys got put out on discharge, so they’re looking for men to fill the Spots.”

Sarah smiled as she realized what he was saying, her eyes soft. “As long as you two are in the same place, I have nothing to worry about,” she murmured. The world slowed as she leaned in to kiss him, the fire behind them dancing in the wind.

_______________________________________________________

The click of the door echoed through the house, the heavy wood sliding into its frame with ease. Henry slipped past the entryway and into the sitting room, his hands moving quickly to close the window.

“Ma wanted us to leave that open,” he heard his brother suddenly say. A sigh broke from Henry’s lips as he propped the window back open, the panes smudged from years of use.

“She also wants us to keep the flies out,” Henry said quietly. “But it’s your call.”

The couch creaked as Eric stood up from the couch, his frame towering under the low ceiling. “Why’d you come home so late?” Eric asked.

Henry shook his head, waving towards the pale moon which was visible through the window. “You’re right. It’s late,” he said quietly. “I’m fine and safe, so you can quit your nagging.”

Eric shook his head, a hand slipping out to rest on Henry’s shoulder. “You’ve got a big day tomorrow,” Eric murmured. “I ain’t going to see you waste it. Not like I did.”

Henry paused, his eyes falling on Eric’s. “Is that really what you think?” Henry asked. “That you failed, because you came back to us?”

Eric grimaced, his bulk slowly moving back to rest on the couch. His hand slipped up to rub at the bridge of his nose, a habit eerily similar to one their father had once had. Eventually, he waved his hand in the air, pushing their conversation to the side. “I saw the assignment papers,” Eric said. “Unit 17 is on the Arizona.”

Henry found himself nodding, the information having already registered the minute he’d opened the hastily-sealed envelope. “I’m reporting at 0700 tomorrow,” Henry murmured. “We’re set to be running coastal defense drills for the next few weeks.”

“I guess you’re finally getting the future you wanted,” Eric said quietly. Henry frowned at Eric’s words, his arms folding together with ease.

“I never ‘wanted’ anything,” Henry said. “I’m not doing this for myself.”

Eric shook his head, an emotionless smile dancing across his face. Closing his eyes, he thought for a moment, letting the faint sounds of downtown Honolulu speak for him. “I told myself the same thing,” he said suddenly. “But let’s be honest, neither of us enlisted for anyone other than ourselves.”

“I’m doing this for my country. For Ma and for-”

“No,” Eric interrupted. “Trust me, you can’t lie to yourself about shit like this.” He gestured downwards, the metal of his leg a dull black in the dark. “Because when it catches up to you, you have no one to blame but yourself.”

“What happened wasn’t your fault,” Henry said quietly. Eric sighed, his gaze falling to rest on Henry.

“No. I wasn’t the one who fired that torpedo. I wasn’t the one commanding that damn sub. But I was the one who ran scared from our damn house, because I couldn’t face the fact that Pa was gone.”

Henry felt himself grow still, a piece inside of him hardening at the truth Eric’s words held. “And if I’m enlisting for another reason?” Henry asked softly. “If I’m just trying to find my way? To serve our country?”

Eric shook his head, a sad smile fixing itself to his expression. “Henry, I’ve known you ever since the day you were born. I’ve been by your side for every step, even when I wasn’t actually here. You need to trust me, because even if you don’t see it, I do. You’re going to the Arizona tomorrow regardless of anything else,” Eric said. “I can’t change that, and neither can you. The only thing you can change is why you’re going.”

Henry started to speak, but was silent, waiting to hear what else Eric had to say.

“I might not have been able to realize it,” Eric explained. “But you can. Pa’s gone. He’s been gone, for every second of the past seven years, and nothing we do is going to change that. No amount of war is going to bring him back, and it sure as hell ain’t going to erase his memory.”

“Then how am I supposed to deal with this?” Henry murmured, the emotions he’d done his best to suppress flooding through him. “It’s been seven goddamned years, and I still remember them walking up to the door in their uniforms. I still remember the fact that we had just had toast for breakfast. I can’t let this go, Eric. I can’t just let him go.”

“You just need to move on,” Eric said. “It’s not about letting it go. No, you should always keep your emotions with you. All you need to do is find a way to make your life your own again.”

“Will the Navy help with that?” Henry asked quietly.

Eric waited a moment before responding, his own thoughts and memories dragging him down.“No,” he finally said. “But, it’s a start. It’s where I got my start.”

Henry nodded slowly, the realization of what his brother was saying lifting a weight off of his shoulders, one he hadn’t even realized he’d been carrying.He began to move towards his room, but stopped, his mind catching on something his brother had said.

“You do know that you aren’t a failure, right?” Henry said. Eric shifted uncomfortably, his eyes looking anywhere other than at Henry.

“I mean it,” Henry continued. “You coming back, and you staying with us, was maybe the strongest thing you could have done.”

“I wasn’t alone,” Eric murmured. Henry found himself smiling as he turned back towards his room, his mind pointing towards clearer thoughts.

“Neither am I,” he said.